The Creative Adjustments we make

One of the foundational ideas in Gestalt is the concept of the creative adjustment. This is the way as children we adapt to our environments in order to stay safe—emotionally, physically, and relationally. It’s incredibly intelligent. But it often comes at a cost.

Imagine a child who bursts into the house after school, excited to tell their parent about their day and to play. But their parent, overwhelmed and exhausted from a long day at work snaps, “Quieten down!” or “If you don’t be quiet I’ll take away your screen time!”

 Over time, that child might begin to internalise the message that their natural exuberance is too much. Rather than being able to recognise that their parent is overwhelmed and doesn’t have the capacity to take in the fullness of them, they learn to see the ‘problem’ as themselves, and to swallow their energy, their excitement, even their voice—because that was what kept things calm and safe in their family environment. In Gestalt we call this introjecting -that child might take those messages (of being too much) into their wider life, keeping themselves small and quiet always. Another way of thinking of introjecting is of taking in something from the environment without fully chewing on it, nor spitting out what does not fit.

This is a creative adjustment: the child learns to inhibit their spontaneity to maintain the connection they deeply need. Over time, this tendency towards inhibition can become rigid, turning into what we call a fixed gestalt—a stuck way of being that no longer fits the context but feels impossible to change. These patterns aren’t bad. They were often brilliant. But in therapy, we get curious: Do these still serve you? Do they allow you to feel safe and alive? Somatic work helps bring these automatic strategies into awareness, so we can develop more conscious, flexible ways of being.

I invite you to imagine instead a different scenario. The same tired parent comes home and says, “Mummy/Daddy had a really long day. I love hearing you play, but I have a headache today. Could you play a little more quietly for now?” The child still adapts, but the message they internalise is very different. They are not “too much.” Their needs and excitement are okay—they just need to be expressed in the right time and place.
This invites a very different internal experience in the child.

We can see these messages play out in culture too. “Boys don’t cry” became internalised by billions of young boys, who learnt to be shamed or dismissed for their tears.